I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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