My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
