So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
splinters make it hard to masturbate
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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