dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
