Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
where are my pants?
in the oven.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
