its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I wish my penis had an off switch
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
