I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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