i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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