My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize