College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
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