Don't make out with my wife yet
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Randomize
