I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
