Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
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