I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
