I think scott just propositioned me for sex
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
