There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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