Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize