did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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