barbara walters just said penis...
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
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