you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
