You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
