speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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