What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
