Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
this boner is exhausting
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Randomize
