we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
