So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
