don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
