Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
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