You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
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