You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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