dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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