That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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