do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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