so that wasnt chicken after all
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
