She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
