angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just blew my weed a kiss
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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