i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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