Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Randomize
