This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize