I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
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