He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
