Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Randomize
