So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
