I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
It's rum buckets o'clock
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Randomize
