he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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