Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
