i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
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