She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
