Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Randomize
