u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize