I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
