do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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