Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
