Betty ford says i'm here all night
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Randomize
