so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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