i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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