so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
