Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.

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(440): View more from Ohio

New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."

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(404): View more from Georgia

He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.

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(312): View more from Illinois

Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.

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(646): View more from New York

you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor

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(765): View more from Indiana

I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no

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(912): View more from Georgia

I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.

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(646): View more from New York

Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now

(646): View more from New York

Goodbee

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield

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