Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
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