Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
