just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Reggie can tackle my bush.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Randomize