All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
